If you have read my previous blogs you will know I was a little apprehensive about the weekend just gone as I was attending a wedding on Saturday. I am not going to say that the day was fine and I did not have any issues with not being able to drink but it did go much better than I thought it would. When I say this I mean me and the not drinking not the actual wedding. The wedding was completely lovely and the both the magnificent church and perfect reception venue made for a great day. From what I could tell I was the only one not drinking but that wasn’t a problem for me I did not resent my friends and other guests for having a drink. I found it hard at points, like when sitting at the table for food and having free wine on the table or when arriving to be offered a glass of bubbly as I walked in. All of these I turned down and no one said anything negative and people were supportive and did not have anything to say, even when I pulled out my non alcoholic wine for the table as I felt I needed to have ‘that something’ to get me through the group drinking parts. It worked, I didn’t feel left out and I enjoyed all the laughter and banter at the table and during the rest of the reception. I even remember all of the speeches and this is normally the point where the next day I know I laughed but cant remember anything that was actually said! I stayed out until nine pm and then I had enough and needed to go home, but before that I even managed a couple of non drunken dances (I wouldn’t normally have done this as I thought for years that I only like to dance drunk – but it would seem that is not, so I will try it again at the next party to see if I can stay on the dance floor a little longer that time).
However, there was one thing I noticed on Saturday and this is something I have noticed quite a bit on other occasions I have not been drinking and during the last 38 days! I EAT so much, its like not having a glass of wine gives me the green light to totally pig out. At the wedding I had more food on my plate than I would ever have had if I had been drinking, I even ate peoples leftovers plus demolished two bacon and sausage rolls when they came out at about 8pm! And don’t get me started on the chocolate favors I ate from our table but its fair to say lilbit didn’t get to have any when I got home…
I honestly believe that at the moment food, especially crisps and anything chocolate is replacing my bottle of wine on an evening. So when my friend asked me today if I had lost weight since I started this I had to say no. In all honesty I think I may have put on some weight which was not what I was expecting or really wanted to do. But I am not worried, I mentioned in a previous blog that I have realised that reaching my goals takes small steps and this is just the same.
I am pleased I am actually aware that I am eating more as it means once I feel I completely have the handle of managing my cravings for wine I can start to reduce the amount of food I am eating to replace those cravings. I have also restarted my PT sessions which should help keep the little bit of extra food from sticking to my tummy! I know that I cannot expect to give up drink, eat completely healthy and regularly exercise every day within the first couple of months and am giving myself time to deal with each change instead of overwhelming myself with doing everything at once and placing too much pressure on myself which could end in disaster lets face it! I am hoping that by the end of the year there will be an improvement in my health, fitness and mindset so I will not return back to bad habits that I have taken so many years to develop!
The greatest thing about this weekend (after the actual wedding), was waking up very early on Sunday morning, being able to take a mini road trip down to the coast with my partner, spending time at one of my favorite beaches and visiting some family friends. I am utterly in love with no hangover Sundays and even more with no hangover depression Mondays!