Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Last night and even this morning I was full of it, I was excited because I had been organised and sorted out lilbits school uniform (my girl is growing up way too fast) and very happy because I had reached over 1000 views on my blog! So this morning I posted a couple of pictures and bit of text on my 365daysofsober Facebook and Instagram and had planned a post for this evening; to explain a little more about me and lilbit and how I felt my drinking would affect her as she grew up and how I think she viewed my drinking habits at the tender age of 4! (and a half I hear her yelling in my head! – she is very specific about this fact, ask the optician she corrected this afternoon)

But…….

and I have to be honest, I am not having a very positive day after all, it was fine until this afternoon and then came the sweltering heat and a 2 hour optician appointment followed by an hour around Tescos (please don’t ask me why but spending too much time in supermarkets is a massive trigger for me, I normally always leave with a bottle or two of wine).  On top of that I then started to worry about a wedding I am going to tomorrow, started worrying about whether I will want to drink and more to the point will I actually drink? I came home and all I wanted to do was sit down, crack open some wine and relax and not have to think about any of it anymore………

I didn’t. I am glad I didn’t.

We decided on take away pizza  for dinner and to try the root beer I found on a previous shopping trip.  It is actually quite nice, probably by far the sweetest thing I have ever drank in my life and it smells and tastes like dentists, but strangely I find this appealing. This has somewhat cheered me up and I am thinking clearer again. Once the craving or thought of having a drink hits it takes a while for me to get that out of my head but its gone now thankfully.

Not giving in and having a drink tonight was very hard but I know I will feel better in the morning and that in itself with make tomorrow easier. I am starting to relax about it and now I have finally stopped fretting and calmed down and I have realised that no one is going to care if I do not drink and I can just enjoy the day with everyone else, ill just be sober.

I am still not in the right frame of mind to write my other post but tomorrow is another day and it can wait… Today was just a bad day!

These are allowed.  Tomorrow is another day!

These are allowed. Tomorrow is another day!

The sweetest thing in the world EVER

The sweetest thing in the world EVER

Advertisements